A Thawing of the Mind

So I'm writing about something interesting that happened this weekend...well, I worked all weekend at the coffee shop, but nothing outwardly interesting happened. But inwardly, I feel like I'm changing. I'm on the verge of 30 and I feel a maturity coming over me, a movement away from the training years that are the twenties and now moving towards a new decade, a shift in thought, ideas, tastes, attitudes, etc. Like I'm five years old again and have been riding that nice, shiny bike with the training wheels on it. Now, with a new found self-confidence, it's time to strike out without them. This brings me back to the memory of when I first learned how to ride my bike. I was about five or six, but I remember it was a black bike and my dad had just taken off the training wheels and was holding on to the back of the seat while I wobbled across my grandparent's driveway in the cool fall air. I remember it was fall because my grandfather had a huge pile of leaves at one end of the drive. (I had scoped it out just in case I need to execute a crash landing.) I remember the fear as my Dad ran alongside, holding me steady until he let go (to my ignorance) and I didn't fear for my life until I noticed him not being there. This was, of course, a fear I eventually conquered and one we all conquer.

Which brings me back around to myself now. I've lived my life according to how I deemed it should be and, like normal, I've made mistakes along with my triumphs. While I don't intend to extol or ruminate here on the minute details; my point is this: Self-discovery is a continually renewing process, one that goes on throughout our lives. We start by living within certain parameters and holding certain paradigms, but eventually we intellectually,creatively, socially, and personally evolve. There can often be ancillary occurances of fear, which can hold us in place mentally freezing us rendering us unable to overcome and expand the aforementioned parameters and paradigms. C'est la vie to borrow the old, tired phrase. The shift is there, moving ever slowly, gradually; moving us towards ourselves. We just have to have the courage to seek it and abandon that fear that can suffocate. Now I've become a motivational speaker; just call me Matt Foley (Search the old Chris Farley videos on YouTube.), except 200 pounds lighter and not as loud; I'm more subtle I'd like to believe.

To the muse I once knew...

I’ve written so much poetry with your face in my head
You- my muse, my lover I’ve never touched or tasted
but longed for in my heart ever since we met.
I have loved you that long...you with the darkest soul
that lets not anyone dive their hands into the gelatinous
content of it, of your heart. You cried tears at 5am and I was there.
The lips that have kissed away more secrets than I’ve forgotten.

Sunset

They were there with the sunset,
Taking it all in- the cars, the
Eyes looking at them.

They wore matching purple shirts,
Faded and worn- matching faces.
Gaunt, stark and looking away at
A future unseen or unknown.

She produced a worn sign from her
Jeans pocket- "homeless, please give,
God bless." No one gave while he sat,

On the freeway bridge and my light
Turned green.

Drunk Under Cherry Trees

I heard a brilliant talk by Roshi Joan Halifax-
This life is so brief-
How will we use it?
Will we get drunk under the cherry trees
and vomit frivolously all over the ground?
Or will we become the cherry tree itself,
allowing the blossoms to bloom?

An Observation...

Birds sitting on barbed wire fences are perched precariously, ruminating on the great mystery of whether to fly away or remain singing their songs to other birds unseen to my naked eye. Birds are like love, lighting on the heart, the soul, but just for a moment.

Forget the Environment...

It appears as if there's work afoot to suck Earth and the surrounding universe into a black hole. Where does this work take place? Switzerland, of course. Here's the article. Say no the black hole! 

www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/science/29collider.html?ex=1364529600&en=e0f3790b6598f9ca&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink